28, How to handle romance between employees and should an organisation do anything about physical intimacy between employees
The Short Answer
One of the important aspects of managing the workforce is managing relationships between employees.
office romance handling has to be looked at from multiple standpoints
The organisation’s role is not to control relationships, but to ensure fairness, professionalism, and the absence of bias.
Why Office Romance Needs Attention
One of the important aspects of managing the workforce is managing relationships between employees.
And a very sensitive or a very troublesome relationship that we need to manage with the employees working, is what we title as the office romance.
Human Interaction Is Natural
Today we are going to spend a little time discussing office romance.
At the base, we need to understand that human beings are social in nature.
Human beings are obviously supposed to interact with each other.
And as an organisation, you would be trying to build in a lot of systems, processes.
In fact, even the term employee engagement was coined to start building interactions within the organisation’s employees.
Interaction and the Return to Office Argument
And one of the main reasons that is being put forward to ask employees to come back from the work from home model to work from office model, is to say that there’s going to be interaction between employees and that will increase productivity.
From Interaction to Romance
So wherever you have a lot of interaction between employees, it is but natural that you’re going to have feelings and emotions.
And that is going to result in to perceived romance and that is going to result in to actual romance.
As an organisation leader, or as a person who’s responsible for managing the organisation, how do you handle office romance?
Three Standpoints to Look At Office Romance
Office romance handling has to be looked at from multiple standpoints.
One standpoint is a legal standpoint.
The other is a moral or an ethical standpoint.
And the third is a professional standpoint.
The Legal Standpoint
Now, let’s first talk about a legal standpoint.
There is no legal standpoint, which says that having a romance is illegal.
Yes, when you get married to more than one spouse, there are laws relating to that.
But we’re not talking about that.
We’re talking about romance.
So, there is no specific law.
Majority of the countries like India would have a lot of freedom in terms of how adults deal with each other.
And there are no restricting laws.
Exception: Service Rules
Unless you’re part of a governmental organization, which will have service rules stating that you cannot do office romance.
Then it may be an illegal activity from a standpoint of that organization.
May not be from a standpoint of the law per se.
But we are going to focus a lot on the private sector.
Ethical and Moral Standpoints
Now, ethically and morally, whether this is right or wrong can vary depending on which group you belong to.
Which age group you belong to.
Which gender you belong to.
And what kind of socio-economic background you come from.
So we would not get into justifying whether office romance is right or wrong.
The Professional Standpoint
What we want to talk about is, how do we deal with office romance in a professional manner?
Professionally, the key expectation that employees have is that I should be respected as an individual.
I should be treated fairly.
Professionally, the key expectation that employees have that I should be respected as an individual, I should be treated fairly.
Respecting Personal Space
If I should be respected as an individual, then an organisation getting into my personal space is not expected.
Whether that interaction is flirtish behaviour, romance, a platonic relationship, or just a colleague interaction.
It is not something which an employee needs to justify.
Specifically as an adult who’s performing in an organisation.
Fairness and Equality
Professionally, the employee also expects fair treatment.
Fair treatment stems from equality in treatment.
Fair treatment stems from a very simple aspect that there should be equality in terms of treatment.
There should be no bias.
Bias and Perceived Bias
This is where organisations come into figuring out whether a relationship is causing bias.
Whether it is an actual bias or a perceived bias.
This specific thing is very much within the domain of an organisation.
Hierarchy and Reporting Lines
Therefore, organisations are encouraged to have rules which say that in the same reporting pyramid, office romance should be avoided.
Because even if there is no actual bias, there will always be a perceived bias.
Physical Intimacy and Professional Decorum
Romance can get into a tangent which is outside professional decorum.
Physical intimacy is assumed to be a private affair.
It is a generally acceptable norm within India that physical intimacy of any kind is assumed to be private.
Office spaces are public spaces.
None of the corner spots of office are supposed to be private.
Policies Around Physical Intimacy
Therefore, HR policies can state that physical intimacy within office premises is not allowed.
If caught doing those, there can be consequences.
Illegal Activities
The third aspect is ensuring that office romance does not result into anything illegal.
Illegal activities include getting married while having an existing spouse.
That is an illegal activity.
The Organisation’s Role in Illegal Acts
If an organisation is aware of an illegal act, it may be required to report it.
Reporting to authorities may cross personal boundaries.
But reporting to the spouse is acceptable to avoid organisational liability.
Setting Professional Guardrails
Office romance is an individual’s own choice.
The organisation needs to build guardrails within professional boundaries.
So that other employees do not feel negatively impacted.
So that no bias is felt.
And no uncomfortable situation is created.
Policies vs Codes of Conduct
Normally, organisations do not have a specific office romance policy.
But these aspects are covered under codes of conduct.
Or general behavioural guidelines.
Misuse of Organisational Resources
Another aspect of office romance is misuse of organisational resources.
Planning trips or meetings for personal benefit is not allowed.
Any activity done using organisational resources must benefit the organisation.
Business Travel Is Not Private
When a person is on a business trip, it is not a private affair.
It is an official affair.
Conduct during business travel is subject to organisational scrutiny.
What Is Truly Private
Meeting a colleague outside office hours, outside business travel, is a private affair.
The organisation should not interfere.
The Final Position
There is no problem in having a healthy office romance.
Human beings need relationships.
Organisations should focus only on professional decorum.
They should not create policies that go beyond the law of the land.
Policies that overreach personal lives will create awkward situations.
This article is based on the transcript of the original podcast of the same name featured in India HR Guide.
The transcript has been translated into this article with the support of AI and a human‑in‑the‑loop process.
